A Philosophy for a Happy Life

I love to go on TED Talk binges in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. On one of my most recent binges, I came a cross a TEDxMidAtlantic 2013 talk by Sam Berns called My Philosophy for a Happy Life. If you have not seen the video, I strongly encourage you to click on the link above and watch it. Sam's view on life is truly inspirational.

Sam Berns recently passed away at the age of 17 from complications due to Progeria. Progeria is an extremely rare genetic disease which causes aspects of aging to appear at a very early age. Sam remained happy and optimistic towards his future, although he suffered from this devastating disease. 

In his video, Sam Berns identified his philosophy for a happy life to be the following: 

1. Be OK with what you ultimately can't do, because there's so much you CAN do.

2. Surround yourself with people you want to be around.

3. Keep moving forward.

4. Never miss a party if you can help it.

In my opinion, I live a generally happy life. I'm pretty optimistic about my future and my talents and I'm satisfied and at peace with the things I've done. After seeing Sam's video, I realized how much I have to grow when it comes to personal happiness. Sometimes I find myself feeling unworthy because I don't possess a certain skill, or because I'm not smart enough or performing well enough in my classes. I tend to think about things I can't do, and often compare myself to others. After hearing Sam's first point, I realized that I shouldn't dwell on what I can't do, because everyone is talented in their own way. Although I might not be able to play an instrument, or sing, I can act and easily approach people. We have to focus on our strengths as opposed to our weaknesses, in order to feel happy and satisfied with who we are and what we're doing with our lives.

Sam's second point is to surround yourself with people you want to be around. At times we might feel obliged to be friends with people who are toxic in our lives. We are blinded by the idea of a perfect friendship, and by the seemingly happy moments we've spent with certain people in our lives, that we disregard the fact that they may not be the right people to have. There's a Spanish phrase, "mejor sola que mal acompañada", which means "I'd rather be alone than in bad company." I always try to follow this specific philosophy, because it's unhealthy to surround yourself with people that constantly suck the happiness out of you or fill your time with pointless gossip. If you don't like the people you hang out with, why do you keep coming back to them? Surround yourself with people who you want to be around, and with people that will help you be happy and become an overall better person.

On one of my older posts, Confidence: A Guide to a Great Weekend, I mentioned "Don't Dwell" as one of my key points towards developing self-confidence. Sam's third point, keep moving forward, goes hand in hand with this. In order to truly be happy, we have to accept the things we've done. This includes both our mistakes, and our successes. In order to keep growing and keep moving forward, we have to move on from our past, and think about our future. You will never be the person you want to be, if you keep reminiscing on the person you used to be. Everyone holds the power to allow themselves to grow and evolve into better, stronger, and overall happier human beings, but we can't allow what we've done control who we can become.

Sam's final tip towards living a happy life was "never miss a party if you can help it." I feel like this can be taken literally or figuratively. When I was a senior in high school, the head athletic trainer at my school told me "you can always retake a class, but you can never re-live a party." I feel that both of these pieces of advice ultimately mean that you have to live life. Don't stress about things not in your control, and allow yourself to be happy. Never miss an opportunity to be happy, because that missed opportunity is one you can't get back. The longer you're sad, the less time you'll have to be happy. You have one life to live, and you shouldn't spend it having a pessimistic outlook and constantly worrying. Explore the city you live in, join a random club or organization that has nothing to do with what you want to do with your life, try a new restaurant, pick up a healthy new hobby. Let your life be a party you can't miss.

In his TED Talk, Sam said "No matter what I choose to become, I believe that I can change the world. And, as I'm striving to change the world, I will be happy." There's people all over the world that truly suffer, while we weep because our cell phones died in the middle of having dinner with friends. From now on, I'm going to strive to live a truly happy life. I urge all of you to follow Sam's advice, and seek happiness in things that you can do, as opposed to pitying yourself for the things that you cannot do.

-TBCG