Confidence: A Guide To A Great Weekend

Sixth Street is one of my favorite things about Austin. 

If you don't know Austin, Sixth Street is our downtown area with a bunch of bars and clubs. There's people everywhere. The street performers are amazing and the food from the food trucks is great. It's fun to just be there, hanging out in the middle of the street, and observing. It's always a good time.

Sixth Street is, in my opinion, one of the best places to meet people.

But, sometimes you just have to put yourself out there in order to get the full experience.

Getting ready for Sixth Street usually begins at Kim's apartment. 

Last Thursday, on our way up to her floor in a crowded elevator, two girls got on looking for the pool floor. They kept asking "What floor is the pool on?" and "Do you guys know Paco?"

After we were done getting ready, we were looking down from Kim's balcony and saw a group of people with those two girls.

We thought it was hilarious, so we called them the Paco Crew.

The night continued, and we went to Sixth Street, on a bus, to attend a bar tab hosted by a fraternity Kim has a lot of friends in.

On the bus, two guys sat in front of us and I immediately recognized one of them had an accent. For some reason, I run into a lot of foreign exchange students (not complaining). I asked him where he was from and made a little bit of small talk. If you ever get a chance to meet a foreign exchange student, make sure to take the time to get to know them a bit. They're always so nice, friendly, and easy going.

The bar tab itself was extremely fun. I made friends with a couple of the frat brothers, and free drinks are always great. Because the bar tab was in a private part of the bar, Kim, a girl we met at the bar, and I went to the public side to dance. I spotted a really handsome guy wearing an Astros cap, standing by the bar. 

I really wanted to go up to him, but I couldn't find the courage. 

I find it relatively easy to start a conversation with people, but there's always that fear of rejection when trying to approach someone at a bar, especially someone that you find extremely attractive.

I finally grew some, and went up to him.

I asked him if he was an Astros fan, and luckily I love baseball and have been to one of their games.

We talked baseball a bit, he asked me where I was from, if I was going to school, and what I was studying. Typical small talk.

He made a comment about how him and his friend were about to leave the bar, and he grabbed my phone and put his number in.

Needless to say, I was extremely happy.

Kim and I ended up spending that entire last weekend hanging out with him and his friend, all because I had an instantaneous moment of courage and went up to him.

I was so full of confidence that on the bus ride back, I sat next to a guy and began a conversation. It turns out he was one of the guys from The Paco Crew (coincidence?). We talked for a while, and exchanged numbers. A girl holding the hand railing in front of us, asked me how I had the confidence to just talk to guys like I did.

So, after thinking about it for a while, I made a list of things I go by, or "rules" I try to follow when I'm out, and in everyday life.

The Broke College Girl Guide To Confidence

1. Say you'll do something, and do it.

Seriously, it's all a mind thing. If you tell yourself you're going to do something and do it, no matter the outcome, you'll feel a great sense of satisfaction for attempting. It's like setting a goal, and reaching it.

2. Put yourself in a "Whatever Happens, Happens" state of mind

In every situation there is a possibility of both success and failure. If all you think about is rejection and failure when contemplating whether or not to just go for something, nothing will go your way. You have to allow yourself to have an optimistic mentality, but the ability to accept when things don't work out.

3. Don't Dwell

Let's say you try, and fail. Don't dwell on on it. If you continually focus on everything that has gone wrong, you will never appreciate all of the things that went right. Everything happens for a reason, so you can't let failures overshadow your success.

4. Turn negatives into positives

Start every day on a positive note. Your car broke down, making you late for class? Get the notes from a friend, call a mechanic, and make yourself a nice meal while your car is getting fixed. This is a great excuse to take a moment to breathe. Don't let anything ruin your day. Make every seemingly negative situation into a positive one by accepting that it has happened and trying to make the most of it, regardless.

5. Make it a point to talk to at least one person everywhere you go

The more you talk to people you don't know, even if it is just a simple "good morning", the more you'll become confident in approaching strangers.

6. Smile
As cliche as it may sound, smiling is really one of the biggest confidence boosters. People are attracted (or not attracted) to the mood you exude. If you look angry or unfriendly, people won't approach you. On the other hand, if you're happy, smiling, and look like you're having a good time, people will naturally flock to you.

7. Chances are you'll never see these people again
This particular "rule" has really gotten me to the confidence point that I'm at today. I'm constantly reminding myself that it doesn't matter if I make a fool of myself or if I have a moment of ballsy courage, because the chances of seeing anyone that witnessed whatever I did again is very slim. Lets say you go to a bar with friends, chances are you don't know anyone there. So, dance, have fun, have some drinks, talk to people, go up to that person you find attractive, talk to the bartender, because you more than likely won't run into anyone that was at that bar again. And if you do run into them, by coincidence, make the most of it, and use it as a conversation starter.

8. It's only awkward if you make it awkward

A while back, one of my close friends gave me this piece of advice, and it has been one of the best I've ever received. You control the feelings surrounding any situation you're in. If you make things awkward, they will be awkward. But, if you don't intentionally make things weird, they won't be. It's all in the way you look at things.

So, there you have it. These "rules" are what allows me to feel confident in approaching people. They're what I think back to when I'm doubting myself, and what I remember when I decide to just go for things.
If you're not sold on these eight easy rules to live by, try them next time you go out. I assure you, you'll have a memorable night.

What is one your most defining moments of confidence?

-TBCG