Valentine's Day

The other day, I was scrolling through my Facebook timeline and I came across a post my aunt made. She went through a horrible divorce, and her perspective really gave me a sort of enlightenment.

She posted her status in Spanish, but this is what she posted (roughly translated) to English:

"Yesterday I heard someone say with joy: 'Finally, I found someone who will truly make me happy!' Imagine the responsibility of the person who is worthy of such a great challenge. Until you learn how to be happy with yourself, with your likes, with your loneliness, with your thoughts, with your feelings, with your projects, with your familiar relationships, you will, very difficultly, find happiness in exterior things. There's happy moments, with people who make us happy, but placing 100% of that responsibility on someone or on something is a very lamentable error that ends with you getting pissed off once you find out that it really wasn't like that. The ideal thing to do is tell yourself: 'I have so much love for myself, within me, that I have enough to share.' Then, you will find true emotional stability. Make yourselves happy first, before you try to share or depend on others for that happiness.”

My boyfriend broke up with me. Three days before Valentine’s Day. Not only did he break up with me three days before Valentine’s Day, but also on the day I got in a car accident and spent a portion of my night in a hospital. Needless to say, my world at this point initially felt as if it was collapsing on me. While I was basking in my own sorrow, crying over the phone to my best friend, and praying to God to help me get through this, I thought about my aunt’s words. Why was I crying and allowing myself to be sad, when I could easily be happy? I quickly realized (partially because Kim is amazing at giving advice and making me feel better), that I needed to stop wallowing in my self-pity and make myself happy.

Although Valentine's Day is a holiday that seems to be entirely reserved for couples in relationships, I feel that it shouldn't be. Valentine's Day should serve as a reminder that we should love ourselves, above everything. Often, we forget to appreciate ourselves. We forget to be thankful for that one quirky talent we have, our intelligence, or that one part of our body we love. We forget to be thankful for all of our strengths, and even our weaknesses, that make us who we are. We forget to be glad that we've been given the wonderful opportunity to live and to laugh and to enjoy ourselves. We shouldn't be bitter on Valentine's day because we have no significant other to share it with, when we can be our own source of love and affection. If you don't love yourself, you can never expect others to love you.

Valentine's Day should also be a reminder to express your love and gratitude towards friends and family that surround you. Over the weekend, I was filming a "Best & Worst Valentine's Day Memories" bit for Texas Student Television's Longhorn LateNight. A man we interviewed happened to be homeless, and his words will be forever engraved in my memory. We asked him what his best or worst Valentine's Day memory was, and he simply replied by saying "waking up and realizing nobody really cares." I was heartbroken. It made me so sad to hear that coming from another human being. It made me put my life into perspective, and got me thinking about everyone in my life that I'm thankful for. If we don't show our appreciation to those who are always there for us, one day they won't be. We should remind them not only on Valentine's Day, but on a daily basis of how important they are to us.

Valentine's Day is this Friday, and I don't plan on being one of those bitter single people that curse at the holiday. I'm going to go out and have a good time with my two best friends, and spend a lovely evening with people that I love, because the holiday is all about spending it with someone you love. It doesn't necessarily mean it has to be someone you're dating.

I urge all of you to remind yourself of all the things you love about yourself and focus on those things. Work towards fine tuning your strengths as opposed to pitying yourself for being single. If you're in a relationship, don't place all of your happiness on your partner, do things for yourself that make you happy. And, don't forget to tell those people you care about how much you love them and appreciate everything they do for you.

Happy (almost) Valentine's Day.

-TBCG