Honesty Is The Best Policy

I've been neglecting this site for a while now, but after being reminded by several close friends about the impact The Broke College Girl has had on them, I decided to start it back up.

This summer has been pretty crazy. So many cool things have been going on in my life, but that is information for another post at a later time. This post will be dedicated to a subject I know too well: boys. Boys, and how they somehow manage to unknowingly break our hearts. 

I walked into the elevator at my apartment complex, and the only other passenger was a pretty girl that looked like she had just gotten home from a night of drinking. It was a Tuesday, so I'm going to guess she was either at a dollar beer night, or at a Greek life mixer. Regardless of what her plans were at the beginning of the night, I'm positive that she did not expect to be in this elevator with me, a complete stranger, at such an early time (it was about 12:00 A.M, let's be real, that's early when you're in college), with tears running down her face and her heels in her hands. I'm positive that she was expecting a happy night out with friends in the middle of the week, to celebrate the fact that she somehow managed to get all of her classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and that it's still early enough into the semester to have hope of all A's.

But, that wasn't how her night ended. 

I felt bad seeing her like that. She was a mess, and she was alone. Not one of her friends was there to console her. So, I did what I thought would be best, and asked her if she was ok. "I'll be ok" she said. Having been there one too many times, I simply asked "boy problems?" She replied with a silent nod. At that moment, I understood why the makeup she spent 30 minutes on was running down her face. But, the elevator doors opened at my floor, and I only had time to remind her that she is too beautiful to be treated badly, and that no boy is worth the hurt and the tears.

Then, I got to thinking. I don't want to be that girl in the elevator. I don't want to come home crying after a night out because the boy I like was too childish to come through. I don't want to hold my heels in my hand, with tears running down my face, because a guy decided I wasn't worth his time anymore.

Our generation has become accustomed to hiding. Texting makes it so easy to ignore people. Social media allows for less face-to-face contact. It's so much easier to lie, to deceive, and to portray ourselves in a certain light while online. I think we've all forgotten what it's like to be honest and upfront with people. And, I think that's what's wrong with the world. It's what's especially wrong with relationships.

A friend once told me "the more honest you are, the more you can get away with", and I completely agree. If only boys (hey, this actually goes for girls too), would have the decency to tell you upfront what they're looking for. If only boys had the courage to tell you whether or not they can see themselves pursuing a relationship with you after you've been in constant communication/flirtation for weeks. If only people could be more honest with their feelings and intentions.

Life, love, and relationships would be so much easier if everyone was simply honest with each other. It's not that hard to tell someone, "hey, you know, I'm really not that into you" BEFORE you lead them on for weeks and make them fall for you. That overly attached girl/boy? That problem would have been solved by now if only you had the guts to tell them that you don't like them the way they like you at the very beginning. I don't understand why so many people beat around the bush, and why so many others allow themselves to be played. If you don't like someone, tell them. If you're still talking to them only because you like the attention, not because you plan on pursuing anything serious, tell them. It'll save both parties so much time, tears, and heartbreak.

Sure, after someone is honest with you about their lack of interest it'll suck, but think about how much more time you'll have to find someone more worthy of your time. Or even better, how much time you'll have to find yourself (which is a hell of a lot better than those jerk-off boys you allow to break your heart.)

We all just need to swallow our pride, and be honest. It's not fun to be trapped in a web of lies. It's even worse when all of those lies come to light, and you realize the hard way that they were all disguised by vague text messages and snapchats. 

Let's just tell the truth, and be real with each other. Remember: not only are you fooling the other person, you're also fooling yourself.

-TBCG

The Power of Being Alone

Growing up, there was always a noticeable stigma about people who were alone in a public setting. Take a cafeteria at a local high school, for example. The only people you see sitting alone, are those who people have labeled as weird, unpopular, or too shy to even try to hold a conversation with. They are people who keep to themselves, therefore we have deemed unworthy of giving them even the slightest bit of our attention.

While in college you see that, for the most part, it has become somewhat socially acceptable to be seen eating alone, or being alone. But, the fear most people have of allowing themselves to do that, is still ever present. This fear causes you to focus all of your attention on your cell phone when you're alone. It causes you to only stare at your food, and eat it quickly. It makes you beg people to accompany you to an event, and eventually causes you to decide not to go if you won't know anyone there. It is the fear that causes you to make excuses as to why you won't have time to join a club. It is the fear that stops you from taking chances.

It is a fear a lot of us don't think we have, and that's part of the problem.

We're afraid of being alone. We all are. 

We don't think we are when we're able to sit in our room for hours. We don't think we are when we're studying at the library. We don't think we are when we're alone in public. But, we're afraid.

We crave social interaction, and our mind is subconsciously telling us just that when we pull out our phone to check our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat. We feel like we need to be constantly putting our thoughts out there, our every move. We need to make sure our friends know what we're doing, and where. Maybe they might see it and decide to join us. It allows you to dislocate yourself from reality, and compensate for the fact that you just ate dinner alone for the third time this week.

Although I, too, am afraid, there is so much beauty in being alone. Taking some time to willingly be alone with only your thoughts can bring you an overwhelming sense of peace. You can sort things out with yourself, without the opinions or distractions of the outside world. Embracing the feeling of being alone can allow you to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Going out and doing things by yourself can bring some of the most wonderful memories, and open the doors to your best experiences. One of my ex-coworkers once gave me some great advice. She said, "Never be afraid to go to a bar alone. It's when you have the most fun. You're forced to talk to people and make friends, as opposed to having to stand next to your awkward friend who refuses to approach people." This can apply to not only going to a bar alone, but to movies, sightseeing, museums, cooking classes, Church, shopping, dinner, and much more. Placing yourself entirely in a new social situation can make you feel vulnerable. But, experiencing this vulnerability wholeheartedly will allow for you to gain the confidence to approach people. It will build your communication skills, and help you create a network of contacts that will ultimately be fundamental in your future endeavors.

You are who you surround yourself with. When you make the decision to explore things on your own, you welcome all types of people into your life, as opposed to the same group of people you are constantly around. Having a steady mix of personalities, upbringings, goals, and opinions within your network gives you a broad perspective and understanding of others.

Being alone shouldn't be something we're afraid of. It should almost be like a privilege. Time alone is time well spent. It is time to recollect your thoughts, time to think through your actions, time to accept your past and welcome your future. Next time you find yourself alone, engulf yourself in the feeling. Turn your phone off. Take in your surroundings. Interact with the strangers around you.

Allowing yourself to be alone is allowing yourself to truly live.

-TBCG

TBCG Party Guide: Restrooms

We've all been there. 

You're at a party, the alcohol is kicking in, and your kidneys are expelling it like toxic waste. 

There's just one little problem, the line for the restroom is 15 people long. Now, before you make the decision to pee behind the bush outside of the frat house because "you can't hold it" and "people are too drunk to care", I've compiled a list of my five best tips to beat the line. 

Because, you don't want to be that girl.

[Guys, this is really geared more toward my female audience. You all have it so easy.]

The Broke College Girl Party Guide: Restrooms

5 tips to help you beat the line!

1. Say you're playing beer pong and you're about to win.

This may sound silly, but it works. I was playing beer pong at a party once, and we were winning. But, I really had to go to the restroom. So, I decided to just take a risk, go to the front of the line, and explain to the girl that was waiting for her turn my situation. She understood, after I told her we were playing some jerks and that we really needed the win. I knew this trick really worked, when my best friend was in a similar situation, minus the beer pong game. I walked her to the front, told the girl up next that we were about to win, and just like that, she allowed my best friend to use the restroom before she did.

Sample Dialogue: 

You: "Hey, I know you've been waiting in line, but I'm playing beer pong with my friend and we're playing these two guys who have been talking smack all night. We're about to win, but I really have to pee! Can I please go in before you, I promise I'll be quick!"

Her: "Sure, just please hurry!"

You: "Thank you so much! I will!"

2. Say you need to throw up.

I've personally never used this excuse to cut directly to the front of the line, but I've been to so many parties where girls that just get wasted are rushed by their friends to the front of the line and successfully get in the restroom before they throw up everywhere. You'll need at least one friend [maybe one that has to pee too so both of you all can get in], the ability to act completely wasted and nauseous, and not be embarrassed to cause a mini scene in front of the people waiting to use the restroom.

Sample Dialogue:

Your Friend: "Guys move, she has to puke! I have to get her in the restroom before she throws up everywhere!" [She says while holding you.]

You: [Makes throw-up sounds.]

3. Cut in line

This might be a little risky, but if you even vaguely know someone close to the front of the line, just do it.

Sample Dialogue:

You: "Stacy, is that you? I haven't seen you since last semester!"

Stacy: "Oh, hey! How are you? You having fun?"

You: "Yeah, but I need to pee! Mind if I cut?"

Stacy: "Nah girl! Go ahead!"

[You continue the conversation out of courtesy or legitimate interest.]

4. Give the girl in the front a closed beer.

Sometimes, at larger parties, it can be pretty difficult to get your hands on a beer. If you just happen to have an extra one, or know the pledge that is assigned liquor duty, give the girl at the front of the line a beer (closed beer, don't be shady), in exchange for the opportunity to use the restroom before she does. 

Sample Dialogue:

You: "Hey, I have to pee really bad! I'll give you this beer if you let me go ahead of you! I promise I'll be quick!"

Her: "YOU HAVE AN EXTRA BEER [screams internally]? YES, I'LL TAKE IT!"

You: "Thank you so much!"

Her: "No, thank you!"

5. Make friends with the head of the house.

This can range from any of the guys who are in the frat that is hosting the party, to the people who live in the apartment that a hundred people are cramped into. It's always fun to talk to people you don't know while you're at a party, because you never know how they can help you somewhere down the line.

Sample Dialogue:

You: "This party is so much fun! How do you know the people hosting it?"

Them: "Oh, I live here!"

You: "Cool! Thanks for the party, your place is awesome! Hey, do you know where the restroom is?"

Them: "The public one is by the kitchen, but I'll let you use mine. You seem pretty cool!"

Remember, some of these tips might not work, but it's always worth a shot! Plus, each one of them gives you an opportunity to make a new friend, or re-kindle an old friendship. Don't forget, it's better to wait and hold it, than to make a fool of yourself. You might not think people are watching, but there's eyes everywhere! You don't want to be the next viral embarrassing picture.

I hope you all enjoyed these 5 tips. Feel free to comment on this post!

What are your secrets to beating a long restroom line at a party?

-TBCG

SXSW 2014: Days 8 - 10 Recap

South By Southwest (SXSW) is a Music, Film, and Interactive festival that takes place in Austin during Spring Break. This year, the festival spans from March 7-16, 2014.

After the long day we spent on Thursday, we needed rest. So, Friday was spent hanging out and catching up on some much needed sleep.

Saturday was met with a little more excitement and enthusiasm.
Almost everyone I knew was going to go see the free show at Butler Park, because Childish Gambino was headlining it that day. But, I didn't feel like getting there early, so I opted to spend my evening walking around downtown with Emily, a friend of mine.

I heard that 2 Chainz was doing a show, so I got really excited. But, it was sadly reserved for badge holders only. Instead of moping and giving up all hope, we walked around trying to find a free show we could get into.

We walked to Whole Foods for their annual rooftop showcase, but were quickly bored. On our way there, though, we got a flyer from two guys that were promoting a show they were playing at the Russian House later that night.

We ended up just walking up and down sixth street, enjoying the people.
Through Twitter, Emily found out some of her favorite YouTubers were in downtown. So, we set out to find them.

Our efforts were successful.
We met Louis from FunForLouis, as well as Nick Miller.

They were so nice, and open to talking to us. They even gave us hugs before we went our separate ways. It was awesome.

After meeting them, we decided to walk over to 4th street. There was a free show going on in a tented venue, so we decided to check it out. The band playing was called The Great Escape and they were amazingly talented.

Later that night, my friend KC texted me asking if he and two friends could join us. Emily's friend, Dakota, joined us later as well. All six of us continued walking through downtown. We eventually headed over to the Russian House, and spent a while there before leaving.

We decided to see if we could catch a glimpse of 2 Chainz, so we headed over to the venue where he was performing. Although we didn't get to meet him, we met Cap 1, a rapper that was performing at the show before 2 Chainz.

We explored downtown a little more, talked to random people, sneaked into a club via the side door, approached a car because we thought the driver was famous, KC got hypnotized, and we all enjoyed ourselves.

Eventually, the guys got tired and headed home to get some rest. Emily, Dakota, and I headed back to the Russian House and enjoyed some Caribbean electronic music.

Sunday, the last day of SXSW, was spent catching up on work and getting ready for the upcoming school week.

Overall, although I didn't do as much as I could have, SXSW was an amazing experience. It was a great year to be a first time SXSW attendee. The festival did not disappoint. It was so much fun, I met a lot of people, and did some networking.

Next year, though, I plan to thoroughly plan my week and get the most out of the festival.

I hope you all enjoyed my SXSW recaps. Did you attend the festival? What was the most memorable moment throughout your experience at SXSW?

-TBCG

I would like to extend my condolences to all of those affected by the SXSW crash that happened in front of Mohawk on Thursday, March 13. May the three victims, whom have passed away. rest in peace, and may all those injured have a speedy recovery.

SXSW 2014: Day 7 Recap

South By Southwest (SXSW) is a Music, Film, and Interactive festival that takes place in Austin during Spring Break. This year, the festival spans from March 7-16, 2014.

I finally convinced my five best guy friends, who are literally like brothers, to come visit me in Austin. None of them had ever been to Austin, so it was a wonderful pleasure to be able to show them this amazing city.

The first thing we did, was take a bus ride to Whole Foods to get them guest wristbands for SXSW. As soon as we got there, though, they were all out. So, we decided to grab a bite to eat before heading over to the other side of downtown to wait in line for the mtvU Woodie Awards.

We went to Hut's Hamburgers. I heard from a friend that it was one of the best burger places in town, so we all decided to try it. It was delicious! The options were endless, the burgers were huge, the staff was so nice and attentive, and the place was decorated perfectly with sports and university banners, vintage signs, and newspaper clippings.

When we got to the area where the Woodies were going to be held, there was already a long line. Thankfully, the capacity of the venue was 2,500 people and we were probably standing around the 800 mark.

The festival lineup included Wild Cub, Vic Mensa, Echosmith, Bleachers, London Grammar, Sam Smith, Phantogram, American Authors, The 1975, Iggy Azalea, and Childish Gambino.

Lil Wayne even made a surprise appearance, as well as Danny Brown, Steve Aoki, and many other celebrities.

 

The show was beyond fantastic.
If you missed the premier on MTV, you can click here to watch the full recording on demand.

After the festival, we got lost in downtown looking for a bus. But, eventually we made it home, exhausted, after a long day full of music, friends, and fun.

-TBCG

SXSW 2014: Day 6 Recap

South By Southwest (SXSW) is a Music, Film, and Interactive festival that takes place in Austin during Spring Break. This year, the festival spans from March 7-16, 2014.

On Wednesday, I got back to Austin after spending a few days with family. I was driving back into town with Kim, when we checked Twitter to see that one of our favorite musicians, Donald Glover (Childish Gambino), was having an estate sale in Austin. We got really excited at the opportunity to be able to see him in person, so we decided to go check it out.

We reached the Austin city limits at around 2:30 P.M. The Estate sale was going on until 4:00 P.M. We were nervous that we wouldn't make it on time, so we took turns changing in the car. 30 minutes of awkwardly changing, switching places at stop lights, and inaccurately putting on makeup, we arrived at the mansion where the sale was going on.

There was a good amount of people, but not too much. They still had a good selection of merchandise left, so we bought some shirts. Childish Gambino, though, was sitting on a swing by himself, so I tried to approach him. I was stopped about halfway to him. Apparently, they were shooting a scene for his screenplay, and as he was getting into character he didn't speak to anyone.

After about ten minutes of admiring him from afar, everyone was asked to leave due to the sale being over.

So, we picked up Rigo and went to a strip mall because I needed to buy a special shampoo for my hair. After, we shopped around and ate, then went home to get ready for whatever the night would bring.

We called Albert, and he and his brother joined Kim, Rigo and I at Kim's apartment. We got ready, hung out for a bit, then took a bus downtown.

Our first stop was a free light exhibit that was taking place at an area of land on 4th street.

It was breathtakingly beautiful to see so many structures lit up, and the entire experience was magical. There was even a luminescent grand piano that lit up whenever it was played, which was wonderful to watch and listen to.

At the exhibit, there was a bunch of balloons that changed colors. Rigo, Kim, and I wanted one, so I went up to the people that were setting it up and asked if I could buy one. Although they weren't for sale, one of the men was kind enough to give us a balloon each for free. He even went out of his way as to add a light (that didn't change color) to our balloons.

While Robert, the man who gave us the balloons, was getting our balloons ready, we talked to Jojo, another man who was helping with the exhibit, and he answered any and all of our questions. They were with Jon Morris and The Windmill Factory with Robert Base and LumiGeek.

The rest of the night was spent wandering around Sixth Street and seeing everything that was going on around us.

It was absolutely wonderful and a great way to welcome ourselves back to Austin.

-TBCG

SXSW 2014: Days 2 - 5 Recap

South By Southwest (SXSW) is a Music, Film, and Interactive festival that takes place in Austin during Spring Break. This year, the festival spans from March 7-16, 2014.

A lot of films premier at SXSW, using the festival as a way to gauge how well the general audience will respond to a specific film before its wide release. Alternatively, many independent filmmakers submit their work to the festival, and if chosen to officially screen their film at SXSW they gain the chance for their film to be bought by a major film distributor.

The second day of SXSW was struck with horrible weather. Rain poured in bursts throughout the day. Because of this, I decided I should probably stay home. But, I really wanted to attend the red carpet for the movie Neighbors, a comedy about a young couple who are forced to live next to a frat house. So, I convinced Rigo and Albert to join me in my trek to try and see Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, and Dave Franco in person.

We stood in the rain, along with other anxious spectators, for about two hours. The good thing was that my friends were there, and we struck up a conversation with the crowd control volunteer. We also had an umbrella. 

Finally, a couple people from the film's cast and crew began showing up to the red carpet. But, Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, and Dave Franco had yet to make an appearance. 

We continued to wait, and the rain got harder almost as if to test our patience. Albert and Rigo decided to go get shelter in one of the restaurants across the street, and I stayed to try and catch a glimpse of the three men I came to see.

Seth and Dave arrived one by one and about 10 minutes apart. Seth Rogen was much more handsome in person, and Dave Franco, although shorter than what I thought he would be, was absolutely gorgeous. Zac Efron, on the other hand, was taking a long time to arrive. Soaking wet, and with my phone acting up (the reason I got very few horrible quality pictures), I decided to leave and join Albert and Rigo. 

I cleaned myself up in the restroom of Cozzoli's Pizza, then ate a delicious meal with two great friends. We spent the rest of the night in the comfort of Albert's dorm room, watching movies, eating junk food, and laughing together.

The next day, Mindy Kaling was going to speak at an Interactive SXSW session. Because she is a great inspiration and influence in my life, I knew I had to meet her. My dreams were shattered when I arrived at the Austin Convention Center to find out that you needed a badge in order to even be outside of where the session was taking place. 

I decided to go back to my dorm room, and nap. Then, I made an impulse decision to go home and visit my family for a couple of days.

While at home, I got to spend necessary quality time with my mom, dad, sister, brothers, and niece. It was wonderful to get to spend a few days with them. We went out to eat, watched tons of movies together, and spent hours just talking. I didn't realize how much I missed them until I went home.

During those couple of days at home, I made another impulse decision. I decided it was time for a change, so I went to a local hair salon, cut my hair into a bob, and added highlights to my virgin hair. It was a much needed change of pace, and a huge confidence booster. Needless to say, I absolutely love my new look.

Although I missed SXSW events from Day 3 - Day 5, I don't regret leaving to spend time with family. It's kind of funny, because in my Day 1 recap I raged about how SXSW is an event you don't want to miss. I did miss the opportunity to get free tickets to see Kanye West and Jay-Z, among many other things, but I really needed to get away from the craziness of life for a while. Sometimes you need to find ways to ground yourself. It was a much needed time away from Austin.

-TBCG