The Power of Being Alone

Growing up, there was always a noticeable stigma about people who were alone in a public setting. Take a cafeteria at a local high school, for example. The only people you see sitting alone, are those who people have labeled as weird, unpopular, or too shy to even try to hold a conversation with. They are people who keep to themselves, therefore we have deemed unworthy of giving them even the slightest bit of our attention.

While in college you see that, for the most part, it has become somewhat socially acceptable to be seen eating alone, or being alone. But, the fear most people have of allowing themselves to do that, is still ever present. This fear causes you to focus all of your attention on your cell phone when you're alone. It causes you to only stare at your food, and eat it quickly. It makes you beg people to accompany you to an event, and eventually causes you to decide not to go if you won't know anyone there. It is the fear that causes you to make excuses as to why you won't have time to join a club. It is the fear that stops you from taking chances.

It is a fear a lot of us don't think we have, and that's part of the problem.

We're afraid of being alone. We all are. 

We don't think we are when we're able to sit in our room for hours. We don't think we are when we're studying at the library. We don't think we are when we're alone in public. But, we're afraid.

We crave social interaction, and our mind is subconsciously telling us just that when we pull out our phone to check our Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or Snapchat. We feel like we need to be constantly putting our thoughts out there, our every move. We need to make sure our friends know what we're doing, and where. Maybe they might see it and decide to join us. It allows you to dislocate yourself from reality, and compensate for the fact that you just ate dinner alone for the third time this week.

Although I, too, am afraid, there is so much beauty in being alone. Taking some time to willingly be alone with only your thoughts can bring you an overwhelming sense of peace. You can sort things out with yourself, without the opinions or distractions of the outside world. Embracing the feeling of being alone can allow you to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

Going out and doing things by yourself can bring some of the most wonderful memories, and open the doors to your best experiences. One of my ex-coworkers once gave me some great advice. She said, "Never be afraid to go to a bar alone. It's when you have the most fun. You're forced to talk to people and make friends, as opposed to having to stand next to your awkward friend who refuses to approach people." This can apply to not only going to a bar alone, but to movies, sightseeing, museums, cooking classes, Church, shopping, dinner, and much more. Placing yourself entirely in a new social situation can make you feel vulnerable. But, experiencing this vulnerability wholeheartedly will allow for you to gain the confidence to approach people. It will build your communication skills, and help you create a network of contacts that will ultimately be fundamental in your future endeavors.

You are who you surround yourself with. When you make the decision to explore things on your own, you welcome all types of people into your life, as opposed to the same group of people you are constantly around. Having a steady mix of personalities, upbringings, goals, and opinions within your network gives you a broad perspective and understanding of others.

Being alone shouldn't be something we're afraid of. It should almost be like a privilege. Time alone is time well spent. It is time to recollect your thoughts, time to think through your actions, time to accept your past and welcome your future. Next time you find yourself alone, engulf yourself in the feeling. Turn your phone off. Take in your surroundings. Interact with the strangers around you.

Allowing yourself to be alone is allowing yourself to truly live.

-TBCG