TBCG Party Guide: Restrooms

We've all been there. 

You're at a party, the alcohol is kicking in, and your kidneys are expelling it like toxic waste. 

There's just one little problem, the line for the restroom is 15 people long. Now, before you make the decision to pee behind the bush outside of the frat house because "you can't hold it" and "people are too drunk to care", I've compiled a list of my five best tips to beat the line. 

Because, you don't want to be that girl.

[Guys, this is really geared more toward my female audience. You all have it so easy.]

The Broke College Girl Party Guide: Restrooms

5 tips to help you beat the line!

1. Say you're playing beer pong and you're about to win.

This may sound silly, but it works. I was playing beer pong at a party once, and we were winning. But, I really had to go to the restroom. So, I decided to just take a risk, go to the front of the line, and explain to the girl that was waiting for her turn my situation. She understood, after I told her we were playing some jerks and that we really needed the win. I knew this trick really worked, when my best friend was in a similar situation, minus the beer pong game. I walked her to the front, told the girl up next that we were about to win, and just like that, she allowed my best friend to use the restroom before she did.

Sample Dialogue: 

You: "Hey, I know you've been waiting in line, but I'm playing beer pong with my friend and we're playing these two guys who have been talking smack all night. We're about to win, but I really have to pee! Can I please go in before you, I promise I'll be quick!"

Her: "Sure, just please hurry!"

You: "Thank you so much! I will!"

2. Say you need to throw up.

I've personally never used this excuse to cut directly to the front of the line, but I've been to so many parties where girls that just get wasted are rushed by their friends to the front of the line and successfully get in the restroom before they throw up everywhere. You'll need at least one friend [maybe one that has to pee too so both of you all can get in], the ability to act completely wasted and nauseous, and not be embarrassed to cause a mini scene in front of the people waiting to use the restroom.

Sample Dialogue:

Your Friend: "Guys move, she has to puke! I have to get her in the restroom before she throws up everywhere!" [She says while holding you.]

You: [Makes throw-up sounds.]

3. Cut in line

This might be a little risky, but if you even vaguely know someone close to the front of the line, just do it.

Sample Dialogue:

You: "Stacy, is that you? I haven't seen you since last semester!"

Stacy: "Oh, hey! How are you? You having fun?"

You: "Yeah, but I need to pee! Mind if I cut?"

Stacy: "Nah girl! Go ahead!"

[You continue the conversation out of courtesy or legitimate interest.]

4. Give the girl in the front a closed beer.

Sometimes, at larger parties, it can be pretty difficult to get your hands on a beer. If you just happen to have an extra one, or know the pledge that is assigned liquor duty, give the girl at the front of the line a beer (closed beer, don't be shady), in exchange for the opportunity to use the restroom before she does. 

Sample Dialogue:

You: "Hey, I have to pee really bad! I'll give you this beer if you let me go ahead of you! I promise I'll be quick!"

Her: "YOU HAVE AN EXTRA BEER [screams internally]? YES, I'LL TAKE IT!"

You: "Thank you so much!"

Her: "No, thank you!"

5. Make friends with the head of the house.

This can range from any of the guys who are in the frat that is hosting the party, to the people who live in the apartment that a hundred people are cramped into. It's always fun to talk to people you don't know while you're at a party, because you never know how they can help you somewhere down the line.

Sample Dialogue:

You: "This party is so much fun! How do you know the people hosting it?"

Them: "Oh, I live here!"

You: "Cool! Thanks for the party, your place is awesome! Hey, do you know where the restroom is?"

Them: "The public one is by the kitchen, but I'll let you use mine. You seem pretty cool!"

Remember, some of these tips might not work, but it's always worth a shot! Plus, each one of them gives you an opportunity to make a new friend, or re-kindle an old friendship. Don't forget, it's better to wait and hold it, than to make a fool of yourself. You might not think people are watching, but there's eyes everywhere! You don't want to be the next viral embarrassing picture.

I hope you all enjoyed these 5 tips. Feel free to comment on this post!

What are your secrets to beating a long restroom line at a party?

-TBCG