Chen Lizra's Formula for Seduction

In light of the upcoming Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, I decided to make a post about a video I came across the other day. It was a TEDxVancouver Talk by Chen Lizra titled "The Power of Seduction in our Everyday Lives." In her talk, Chen, a dancer, author, and entrepreneur, talks about why it's important to practice and apply seduction in our every day lives. She compares her experiences as she traveled back and forth to Cuba and how Cubans have developed seduction and see it as a valuable life skill.

When you hear the word seduction, a negative connotation is automatically assumed. We tend to associate it with deception and essentially sleeping around to get what you want. But, as Chen explains, seduction is a valuable skill that shouldn't be seen in a negative light. It all comes down to how you choose to use it. You can use it in a positive way, to build self confidence and ultimately become a successful human being, or you can use it for bad. 

It's an untapped power everyone has, we just have to unleash it.

It's about (as Chen put it) charm, connection, vulnerability, pride, self-confidence, and appeal.

Chen Lizra's Formula for Seduction

(as explained in her TED talk)

1. Desire

Desire is knowing what you want and having the willingness to go after it. Rumba is the Cuban game of seduction in which a woman is the flirty hen using her body to seduce the man, and where the man is the seductive rooster who uses his body to show masculinity. They keep a sexy tension alive. They play with each other, keeping the "maybe you can have it, try a little harder" feeling alive. Keeping this maybe alive allows for them to lure out the desire within the person they're trying to seduce. You toy with their emotions, making them want you. Giving them little bits, instead of a full on no or a full on yes, keeps that desire alive.

2. Confidence

A strong self-confidence is essential. Without it, you can't get what you want. Our self image is formed at a very young age, and is deeply affected by our environment. Cubans train their children to feel confident and stunning in their own bodies because they view it as a valuable life skill. Of course because Cuba is a communist country they do not have advertisements, so they are not affected by the media. Their self-confidence comes from how stunning the environment they're in makes them feel, and how much love they get at home. This self confidence leads to how you present yourself in all areas of your life, and how you succeed.

3. Body Language

When you walk on the streets of Havana, guys and girls check each other out all the time, without trying to hide it. Men call after women, and women respond with how they hold their bodies, and how they accentuate their curves when they walk because they know they're being noticed and admired, and they like it. It makes it really easy to seduce and be seduced, because you know what the other person is feeling. It shows up in the tone of your voice, the look you give, what you say and how you say it, and even adding a little touch. Body language communicates to the other person what you want.

4. Arousal

Before you can successfully seduce someone, you have to activate the desire within them to give you what you want. First you have to connect and interact with the other person, in order to get to their heart. For seduction to really work, you have to give it your undivided attention in that moment. One of the most charming things about Cuban men is how they go after what they want completely fearless of the consequences of getting hurt or rejected. They know how to distinguish a no that means no from a no that means maybe, and continuing to pursue that maybe until it turns into a yes.

Everyone has the power to seduce in them, the trick is to learn how and when to use it. You can use these four elements of seduction to attract someone you like, or to show interest in something you're pursuing. 

For example, let's say you're up against four other people for a higher position in your job. You can use the power of seduction to attain that position. Be confident in your abilities, and use strong body language to show the person in charge of giving you that position that you're interested in that job. With your work ethic and confidence, you will activate the desire within the hiring manager. The arousal comes in when they get to know you on a deeper lever through work interactions. In a sly manner, you will have successfully seduced them into giving you that higher level position, because of the way you carried yourself and because of that interest you sparked within them.

Like Chen said in her talk, seduction is an art. It comes from the heart. It can be taught. But, to fully gain self-expression in it you have to take the time to master it and make it your own.

*****
UPDATE:
Chen Lizra contacted me through Twitter! She replied/retweeted/favorited my tweet about this blog post! (I'm not gonna lie, I got extremely excited!) The "Arousal" point within this blog post was very vague, but she did clarify it! Here are the screenshots of what she said!

There you guys have it! Arousal is about charm. You have to find what makes you different, that certain quality you individually possess that adds to your personality. We all have one, you just have to take the time to understand what it is. Not only is arousal about personal charm, it's also about forming an emotional connection with others, and by bringing out what matters to them deep down. If you bring out what makes their eyes sparkle, you will have successfully used the arousal portion of this seduction formula.

Thank you to the wonderful Chen Lizra! You can follow Chen Lizra on Twitter here. You can check out her beautiful website, My Seductive Cuba, here for more information about her book and tours!

-TBCG